By Jack Palos at February 29 2020 05:47:46
Information around target customers is not based in empirical fact, more observational opinion. Competitor Analysis is obsolete and doesn't track minor competitors or industry trends that could present opportunities. The business strategy doesn't intuitively line up with the financial projections of the business. Financial anomalies are frequent. The level of analysis in the financial section is low. Elevator analysis (only observational comments) is a glaring sign that no detailed analysis has been undertaken. The language style in the business proposal is inconsistent and in different tenses. The structure of the business proposal in terms of the content lay out does not flow intuitively. Think trying to fit a square peg into a circle! The proposal doesn't make a definite conclusion or sound argument to invest (or lend). The lack of analysis leads to inadequate risk mitigation leaving many questions unasnwered.
To pitch a project such as a public center or putting a gym inside your business, you'll want pages with titles like Benefits, Features, Recommendations, and Installation Schedule. Are you pitching the next hot health product, trying to persuade a company to carry it in their inventory? Show how they will benefit from carrying your new product by including pages explaining Benefits, Features, Return on Investment, and your Wholesale Price List. Maybe you are trying to license your new product idea for someone else to produce. If that's the case, you should include topics like Market Share, Patents, Trademarks, Licensing, Manufacturing, and Distribution.
The only time we would recommend using a sample business proposal is if you are approaching a bank for finance and they provide an example of what they would like to see. However, banks don't provide samples, they provide templates, which is basically them trying to educate entrepreneurs before they apply for finance. In this case this is the bank endorsing a structure for the proposal so it is OK. It still leaves all the blanks to fill in though so it isn't really a full solution to your problem.
So How Should I Use A Sample Business Proposal? We genuinely believe that using a sample business proposal is not a good idea unless you are only looking for a structural outline. Even in this case you would need to scan a fairly broad cross section of examples to get a representative sample to form an independent opinion. There is nothing more frustrating than a pitch which doesn't flow and where the entrepreneur is clearly "winging it". We have rejected more pitches for this reason than any other.