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By Gregory Daigle at February 05 2020 13:43:13
The only time we would recommend using a sample business proposal is if you are approaching a bank for finance and they provide an example of what they would like to see. However, banks don't provide samples, they provide templates, which is basically them trying to educate entrepreneurs before they apply for finance. In this case this is the bank endorsing a structure for the proposal so it is OK. It still leaves all the blanks to fill in though so it isn't really a full solution to your problem.
After you have the information in hand, writing the proposal will be reasonably straightforward. That's because proposals that offer services, regardless of the type of services, follow a similar structure: first comes the introduction, then a summary of the needs, followed by descriptions of the services offered, as well as details and costs. Then the proposal concludes with information about the service provider, such as relevant experience, credentials, and capabilities.

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Information around target customers is not based in empirical fact, more observational opinion. Competitor Analysis is obsolete and doesn't track minor competitors or industry trends that could present opportunities. The business strategy doesn't intuitively line up with the financial projections of the business. Financial anomalies are frequent. The level of analysis in the financial section is low. Elevator analysis (only observational comments) is a glaring sign that no detailed analysis has been undertaken. The language style in the business proposal is inconsistent and in different tenses. The structure of the business proposal in terms of the content lay out does not flow intuitively. Think trying to fit a square peg into a circle! The proposal doesn't make a definite conclusion or sound argument to invest (or lend). The lack of analysis leads to inadequate risk mitigation leaving many questions unasnwered.
The next section of the proposal focuses on the details of the services or project you are proposing. Describe the goods and services you are offering, how a project will be built and managed, the costs and benefits, and so on. If you are pitching your health club or gym services, include topics such as Services Provided, Services Cost Summary, Options, Packages, Classes, Facilities, Equipment and so on. If you are asking for funding or support for a youth sports program, you'll want topics such as Funding Request, Use of Funds, Facilities, Equipment, Programs and Activities, Approach, Coaching, Training Plan, and so on.