By Jack Palos at February 04 2020 13:09:46
Information around target customers is not based in empirical fact, more observational opinion. Competitor Analysis is obsolete and doesn't track minor competitors or industry trends that could present opportunities. The business strategy doesn't intuitively line up with the financial projections of the business. Financial anomalies are frequent. The level of analysis in the financial section is low. Elevator analysis (only observational comments) is a glaring sign that no detailed analysis has been undertaken. The language style in the business proposal is inconsistent and in different tenses. The structure of the business proposal in terms of the content lay out does not flow intuitively. Think trying to fit a square peg into a circle! The proposal doesn't make a definite conclusion or sound argument to invest (or lend). The lack of analysis leads to inadequate risk mitigation leaving many questions unasnwered.
The only time we would recommend using a sample business proposal is if you are approaching a bank for finance and they provide an example of what they would like to see. However, banks don't provide samples, they provide templates, which is basically them trying to educate entrepreneurs before they apply for finance. In this case this is the bank endorsing a structure for the proposal so it is OK. It still leaves all the blanks to fill in though so it isn't really a full solution to your problem.
The introduction should include a Cover Letter and a Title Page. In the Cover Letter, deliver a personal introduction, provide your company contact information, and include a call to action_a request for whatever you want the reader to do next. The Title Page is pretty obvious. It's a page that introduces your proposal and highlights the project or services you are pitching. Some examples might be "New Shoreline Youth Soccer League Program," "Improving Employee Performance with an In_House Exercise Center," "Opening a Yoga for Life Franchise," or "Aquatic Sports Partnership with Seashore Hotels."
How Will The Audience Know That I have Used A Sample? This is a common question we get asked and while we cannot speak for the entire investment community we can refer to our own experience as investors and former bankers. Here is a list of the top ten reasons why it is obvious that a sample has been used: Executive Summary is dull and formulaic without communicating why we should invest. Market information doesn't align with the specific demographics relating to the proposal or is obsolete. Entrepreneur's knowledge of the market dynamics is sketchy under questioning and it is clear that what they have written in the proposal is the sum total of their knowledge on the subject.